A day without Hayden is like a day without sunshine. True talk, true statement. Ever wandered around your day, thinking to yourself "something's missing"? I have. Lately, it is the fact that I haven't seen Hayden in 24 hours. Sometimes I find my car driving on automatic pilot towards her house, just to find out that she is at her bff's house down the street. That's OK. I get to feel her essence, see her jacket on the stair banister, or her latest piece of artwork, "To: Dad, Love: Hayden" on a chair. It's almost always a house with trees and a sun in the sky. Each year, the coloring gets a little better, but the message remains the same. She loves her house, her family, her life.
There are days when I walk into her house and she is glued to the 7 inch television that hangs under the kitchen counter. Not a word for her Aunty, maybe a quick "hi". That's ok. I get to kiss her head, and give her a squeeze. Sometimes it is met with a "please stop it, Aunty", and sometimes it is ignored. That's OK. I still got to sneak it in.
There are days when I walk in to a resounding, "HI! AUNTY!" and a big smile and a voluntary hug on her part! Sweet! Do I have my favorite times with her? Probably. Am I ever disappointed by their presentation? Never! After all. A day without Hayden, is like a day without sunshine. And the sunshine warms my soul.
